Hey guys!
Im back with a new post!! :D
As seen from above, it's L4L's 8th monthsary & we broke up! I know... it's depressing!
This is one of those days I don't know what to say, do or feel...
The past 8 months has been so wonderful around with this people.
But on 29th January, One member's grandpa died & for chinese tradition, we are not allowed to contact/meet one another for about 1 month 2 weeks.
So we didn't managed to celebrate our 6th & 7th monthsary.
During those times, the other member went out with a friend... They got closer & closer, each & everyday, fangirling about magcon everytime they meet. I just followed her around cos there is no one else I'm really that close to...
Whenever they talked about them, my mind is full of question marks as I'm not sure who & what they are talking about... So I asked them & they told me it was a group of guys from vine & they are really famous. So I decided to download the vine app again on my phone to check out who they were to just try to fit in so that I can talk to...
I'm not those type of girls where I could just keep quiet & watch you talk with others. I'm talkative, loud, noisy so you can't simply just leave me not talking.
Everyday, they got closer & the more I felt as a lesser person. I then recalled the times when we had L4L...
We would have so much fun together, never leaving anyone out...
We were like
Friends that never fail to not leave out one another.
If one went "missing" we all would go together to find and talk to the person.
If one is sad, we all would be there to be sad together
If one is happy, we all would be happy together.
If one is out alone, we all would go and pei her.
People that cares and dont judge or judge but for the sake of fun & laughter.
Those nostalgic moments... I was missing it so badly during the torture days... I don't know if they did but I know I did. I was wishing that we could just back that instant or maybe change the clock back to before the grandpa's death.
Today finally we could celebrate it! Our reunion! But then... When the clock striked 12, no message came in the group chat, 5 mins later nothing too... I then texted... "You guys forgotten about it."
I can't believe it. They forgotten about it or were they really busy with their stuff?
1hr 30mins before the clock striked 12, I was with them plus the friend at bubble tea shop. When I went there, only Tricia said "Sup" but what avout the other one? She just looked at me & turned away. Attitude?! Usually, a few days before or maybe 1 day before our monthsary, we would be like damn excited about it & say OMG! OUR MONTHSARY! IT'S COMING!!! But today? Nothing. No one said anything about it.
So it all led up to the big argument we had which has not been solved & made me really depress right now I don't know if the pain on my arm is pain or not...
I cried so long & thought about it for so long.
This question striked me today...
Is it worth it?
I don't have much energy & emotion to write any longer...
Till then!
XOXO
Jiaqi
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